Thoughts

I have to apologize for my lack of posts lately on this blog (if anyone's even reading!) but between a husband, two kids, a house, and life in general, i haven't found the time to share my thoughts about birth.

I've had lots of thoughts and ideas running through my head lately about birth but since I happen to be short on time, I'll share only one of those thoughts.

Each month, I attend a birth circle in Queen Creek, Arizona. It is a place where like-minded women meet to discuss pregnancy and birth. It is an awesome group! For one thing, it is nice to have conversations about birth where you can literally finish the other person's sentence. There is such a tangible feeling their of true concern and love for each other...it is just wonderful.

So, at our last meeting, two nurses came from a local hospital because they were feeling very frustrated with what they see every day at Labor and Delivery and were looking to find support for their ideas and feelings (they are the "black sheep" where they work because *gasp* they support natural birth!!!). It was quite shocking to hear what they had to say about the things they're seeing at work. Obviously no personal information was shared, so as to not break any laws, but they explained to us the kinds of things they're seeing; the kinds of things I've been reading and hearing about! It was sad to me to realize that all of the issues we're facing in birth right now aren't simply things I've read about on the internet...they are actually happening right in my back yard. That particular day at work, those ladies had 16 births. How many of those births do you think were cesarean sections? Seven. Seven out of sixteen births! Born by c-section. We asked what the reasons for the c-sections were and the majority would be considered unnecessary, meaning they were failure to progress/failed induction, etc. Hearing this made me so sad. That is almost a 50% c-section rate for that day. Astounding! That particular hospital's rate is between 33-34% overall...much, much too high. Unfortunately, extremely common.

What I came away with, however, was not overwhelming sadness and disgust for the way birth is at this point in time...I came away with a renewed desire to continue educating and inspiring women so that they do not have to go through traumatic births (vaginal or surgical). I want to help women see that birth can be something that doesn't have to be feared. I want to help women have the type of birth they want and know how to achieve that in any setting whether that is a hospital, a birth center, or at home. I want to make a difference...even if it is one woman at a time. Right now, my scope of influence is very small, but I hope someday to have more opportunities to educate and inspire by becoming a doula and a childbirth educator. I've pondered those things a lot lately and have come to realize that as badly as I want to do those things right now, it is not the right time. That makes me sad, but I also know that my most important job is to take care of my family first. I know someday I'll be able to work with women and help them achieve the births they desire. Until then, this blog will continue to be a wonderful outlet for me and my small way of making a difference.

More posts to come (soon, hopefully)!

What things have you been thinking about lately, in regards to pregnancy or birth?

Melissa's Natural VBAC

Melissa shared her natural VBAC story with me and I am so excited to share it with you. It is powerful and inspiring. Thanks Melissa!

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First, here are a few thoughts on having a VBAC:

You can go natural and still have an IV and even internal fetal monitoring. I had a mental list of the things I did and did not want... that didn't happen and I felt like the choice wasn't mine. I did have an IV and internal monitoring because my Nurse Midwife said it was necessary. I still wish I didn't have to have the internal monitor, but I am so grateful for the IV that I "didn't want". It provided the liquids I needed. I had been sick to my stomach (everything coming out both ends, eeewww) all day, so I hadn't eaten since the night before! After 22 hours of labor and not eating for over 24 hours I need that IV.

Don't under estimate the power of positive thinking. I worked diligently on my Hypnobabies program and during labor I didn't even turn on the CD. I just listened to the Positive Affirmations CD. Over and over again I listened to someone tell me that birth was wonderful, natural, and that I could do it. I loved it! The days and weeks before my birth I would read positive birth experiences and talked to woman who believed in me. If I had a moment of self doubt, I would call the people that supported me and believed in me, just so that they could give me a pep talk.

You'll never do anything more rewarding. Natural birth has given me a confidence in my self and in my body that I didn't know I could have.

Lastly, birth is powerful and spiritual if you'll let it be. I prayed from the day that I found out I was pregnant that I could have a natural birth. I hated my c-section. It was miserable and a second would limit the number of babies I could have. I want to choose that... I chose a natural birth because I felt an epidural would put me one step closer to a c-section. My natural birth was a blessing because of prayer and preparation. I feel like it is something the Lord intends and wants us to experience and I know that great power and holy helpers attend every birth.

My birth story:

I was due today! October 25th was the big day and I already have a 2 week old! I thought it was an appropriate day to share the story of Henry's birth.

I woke up at 2:30am on Saturday, October 10th with contractions! I figured it was false labor, but it was exciting to have contractions that were coming and going... around 5am I woke up Thomas and asked him to time a few to see how we were doing. Contractions were coming 7-10 mins apart and were about 30 seconds long. I was also leaking amniotic fluid every time I stood up or moved... a slow leak if you will.

Thomas went to play basketball that morning and came home around 10 am and I was still timing my contractions - still 7-8 mins apart.

Thomas' work planned a fall party at HeeHaw farms and pumpkin patch that I really wanted to go to! So I took a shower and we got ready to go. I thought it would be a good distraction and either my false labor would go away or we would know it was the real deal. At this point the contractions were still not super close together but I still needed to stop and take a moment when they came. I was also throwing up and feeling sick to my stomach. Why we went to the work party I am still not sure... all I know is I really wanted to go and so we did. Macey had a great time! We picked out a pumpkin, petted sheep, had a nice lunch (which I didn't dare eat...). By this time contractions were about 45 seconds long and 5-7 mins apart. On the way home from the party I called my sister Sarah to tell her I thought we would go to the hospital sometime soon, so keep her busy schedule open.

We went home, put Macey down for a nap. By this time I couldn't walk or talk during contractions but they still weren't super close together, so I got into my zone. I've been doing a "Hypnobabies" home study course for the last 4 months or so. It sounds odd but I really liked it. It is just very positive deep relaxation and visualization techniques that I practiced almost daily for most of the summer. So I got out the "positive affirmations" cd and just listened to it and focused on relaxing through my contractions instead of just dealing with them. This helped a ton! Macey woke up, Sarah came and got her, I still wasn't ready for the hospital - I wanted to labor at home for a long time. Sarah brought Macey home around 7:30pm and we got her ready for bed.

We left for American Fork Hospital at 8:30pm - contractions were finally 3-5 mins apart and had been for over 2 hours! That was when were told was the appropriate time to go to the hospital. So 18 hours into labor we go to the hospital. They check me when we first get there and I am 4.5 cm dialated and my water has broke, no going home for me (every mom's fear when going to the hospital... being too early)!

So we get to the room where you labor and get all set up. I get back in my zone with my cd going. I have to have an IV and continuous fetal monitoring because of the the C-section I had with Macey. VBAC's or "vaginal birth after cesarean" have higher risks than normal vaginal births so extra precautions have to be used. I didn't really want anything extra but I didn't have a choice... the IV we used a lot though. By this time it had been over 24 hours since I had eaten anything or been able to keep much water down, so they started me on sugar water to help with my fatigue.

The external fetal monitoring wasn't working very well because I liked to move during contractions... rocking mostly, so after a while my midwife decided I needed internal monitoring. Let's just say "ouch" and "yuck". I'm sure it's not a huge deal if you have an epidural but I didn't... and it hurt! It is this huge probe that they put inside the womb to monitor the baby and they but an electrode on the baby's head. It wasn't super fun having it put in and I felt more restricted once it was all in place.

The next while is all super fuzzy to me. I took off my glasses so that I couldn't watch the clock and I had Thomas turn the lights in the room off. I labored on my own at this point. It was me and my contractions. I didn't want Thomas near me, I didn't want my midwife around... I had do it alone.

I had a midwife, but I was still under a doctor's supervision because of the VBAC, so sometime around 11pm the Dr. makes an appearance... not a good sign. He is only there in case we need him. He tells us that Henry's heart rate is "too steady" and that things need to change or I will have a c-section. He gave us a 15 minute window to see the baby's heart rate change. At this point I had done what I could to have a natural delivery and if the c-section was still going to happen I didn't feel like it was in my control anymore. I left it up to the Lord... he knew my heart's desires but he also knew what the baby needed more than I did. I was ok with whatever happened at this point.

This is where Thomas really stepped up to the plate. I was exhausted and just managing my pain, not in a position to think tons about other options. He was the key to my success at this point. He said that we needed to do something different, so why don't I try standing up. He also asked the midwife if we could change the IV fluids from just watery stuff to sugar water again to wake the baby up. This was key. I started laboring in different positions (on my sides, standing up...) and after 15 minutes of moving and sugar water the Dr. came in a said that the change was minimal but if it didn't go down again he would continue to let me labor!!! Thomas saved me from another c-section which would have been my second - which would have meant that all of my births after that would be c-setions - which limits the number of kids you can have! All things we wanted to avoid...

So at this point I am at an 8, I continue to labor until around 1:30am Sunday morning when I am finally at 10... I start pushing then. Pushing was a lot harder physically than I thought it would be, enough details on that! So after an hour of pushing they plop a sticky white thing on my tummy and I just stare at him. I didn't cry, I was just so glad that he was here, safe, and I was done. He didn't cry even then. Thomas cut the umbilical cord and we had a baby to call our own! I never felt so proud of an accomplishment in all of my life.

I loved the unmedicated birth! I know people think it is crazy, but they haven't tried it. It was an incredibly spiritual experience. The pain was a very natural pain that ebbed and flowed, it never got to a point where it was intense pain all the time... you have time to regroup during contractions even when pushing.

All in all, I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Good quote.

"Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware...To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory. She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon."

Grantly Dick-Read

I just love this quote. I find myself pondering my most recent birth (already six months ago!) several times daily. As I look back on it, and ponder it, I see how much I grew and it makes me realize how soon that ecstasy passed. Amazing...how childbirth can be so full of both pain and ecstasy. It is truly amazing.

I'm currently researching becoming a doula...I want to work with pregnant women so badly. I want to help others receive the fulfillment that comes through birthing children without intervention. I want to help change people's lives for the better. We'll see...I don't know if it is the time yet, as I have two small children of my own, and more to come in the next years. Lots of research and prayer are coming my way...

The wonder of natural childbirth

Cjane posted this today on her blog:

3. Would you do another non-medicated birth? And if so, WHY???

Here is the deal about that whole deal.

Now that I look back on Ever's birth I see things a little more clearly.

The pain? Hmm. Yes it hurt. It was pounding and brutal. Then there was the part when I felt my body split in two . . .

But.

But it wasn't the physical pain that astounded me about that experience. For me, the pain? Meh. It was shortly lived and gone the second the baby left the (fleshy) building.

But.

The pain coupled with the metaphysical?

Holy.

It was the stretching of my spirit that really shook my core. The psychological impact that comes from going to a place where earth meets heaven and tiptoeing along that blurry line of life and death. It was the part where I felt the weight of something so huge, so much bigger and more fantastic than anything I could have ever imagined. It was closing my eyes and seeing a checkerboard sphere rolling around like I was viewing pure energy at a molecular level. It was completely psychedelic and strange and completely awe-some.

And when I think the physical feeling of my body splitting open I also think my spirit was doing the same. In that process, my spirit made more of me to be able to contain all of that experience. Like a hand inside a latex glove, I was filled with humanity, expanding, extending, magnifying. I was more. And I will never get over the residual memories--they still astound me.

Are you kidding me?

I can't wait to do it again.


I LOVED her description of natural childbirth. It is exactly how I feel about my experience. It was so completely overwhelming and intense, yet I honestly cannot wait to do it again. The feeling of being "more" than you thought you ever were was astounding. I, of course, cannot put it into such beautiful words, like Cjane does, but I completely echo her sentiments. It is something so incredible, something so much more rewarding than I can even explain.