My response to Tianna

Tianna commented on the post below about my breastfeeding story. She had some questions for me, and my response was too long to post in the comments section. If anyone else has any other advice to offer on this subject (the logistics of nursing an older baby), please do contribute!

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Tianna, thank you :) I have been inspired by many, many women, so I am so happy to do the same.

(Nursing my two month old at the Grand Canyon...can't even tell, right?)

I do not, regularly, use a breastfeeding cover. I have gotten good enough at it where I can nurse very discreetly. I always have on a tank top underneath my shirt, so I will pull up my shirt and then pull my tank top down underneath my breast. I'll cover my breast with my hand while the baby latches on, then my shirt will cover the rest of it while she nurses (I realize that I am a small-chested woman, so this works for me, but it may not work if you have a large chest...I don't know about that because I don't have a large chest!). When she gets distracted and pulls off, I quickly pull my shirt down. That means I am always very self aware and never show anything. Most people don't even realize I'm nursing. There are times when I do use a cover. Often it is in a social situation where I feel uncomfortable because I know others feel uncomfortable with me nursing, like around lots of guy friends, etc. Sometimes, I do leave and go to another room because being around people is just too distracting. When the baby was small, I would nurse in Sacrament meeting without a problem. More often now, I go to the lounge because it is less distracting for her.

I am not perfect at nursing on demand. She still uses a binky and I like that. But I have tried to be more aware this time and offer her my breast when she cries, rather than offering her a binky. She will nurse anywhere and in any position. She nurses while I chase the toddler around, getting him off tables, etc. She nurses while I clean up toys. She nurses while I hold her brother. She is really adaptable because she loves it so much.

Max was not difficult to wean, but I think it is because I never really, really nursed him for more than just feedings. By the end, he was nursing three times a day. Gradually, we stopped nursing before his nap - I just would lay him down with his binky instead of nursing him. Then, instead of nursing him in the morning, I'd take him right out of his crib and we'd go eat breakfast. At night, I just didn't nurse him one night and that was that. It was really easy to wean him (easy logistically but not easy emotionally), but again, I feel that it is probably because I never really nursed him for much more than nourishment. I do not know how it will be with Maude, since I've approached the whole thing much differently this time around. However, I'm not worried about it. I am quite comfortable with nursing her as long as she needs it. Yes, even if she is 2 years old. I know that is not culturally acceptable, but it feels right to me and I believe that relationship is very important...even past one year old.

Max never drank milk. He doesn't like it. I don't like milk either. At first, I was concerned about it. But after a lot of research and prayer, I decided it wasn't a big deal. We are made to think that dairy is where we get all of our nourishment, but that's simply not true. In fact, too much dairy can cause problems like inflammation and over-production of mucous. He eats a very well balanced diet and he eats other dairy products like cheese and yogurt very well. If you are concerned about liquid intake, you could offer almond milk, whole milk or raw cow's milk, or rice milk. I don't recommend soy milk.

As for the babysitter goes...here are my thoughts, and I realize that this may not be how everyone thinks, but it is how I feel. When I am a nursing mother, I try to remember what a privilege and blessing it is to be a nursing mother and to be the only one who can provide that nourishment for my baby. That means that I may have to sacrifice things while I am nursing. For example, I cannot leave my baby overnight or for more than a few hours at a time. But, to me, that never feels like a sacrifice, because honestly, I do not wish to be away from my baby or toddler for that amount of time. For me personally, if I need to get away and have time to myself, an hour or two is enough for me to feel rejuvenated. If we go on a date, that is trickier. I will make sure to nurse the baby right before we leave, and we will go on a short date. Or, if needed, we'll come home and feed the baby, then go back out. I have not had success with pumping after the first few weeks of the baby's birth. I don't pump more than just an ounce or so, so I don't even try. I just realize that a bottle is not an option for me, and leaving them for a long time is not an option either. As long as I realize that it isn't an option for me, it doesn't feel hard or annoying. Honestly, it doesn't bother me, though I know, for some women, it is very important for them to be able to not feel "attached" in that way. Or for others, who work, it is a necessity to be away. I don't have any advice on that front because I have not been in the situation where I've had to leave my baby for work.

When the baby is older, they can go longer between feedings. I find that it is much easier to leave the baby as they get older. Before the baby is 6 months old, I rarely leave. If I do, it is for only an hour and a half. Or else, I am rushing home feeling stressed that the baby is hungry. Once they can eat solids, you can distract them with that until you return.

Do you have any other questions? Did I answer everything you were wondering?

My story

I have been lucky to have a fairly easy time breastfeeding my babies. After my first baby was born in the hospital (with an epidural), he was not very interested in nursing until a few hours after his birth. I tried within 30-45 minutes of his birth, but he was really sleepy. Once he nursed, though, he did amazing. A lactation consultant helped me nurse him the day after his evening birth, and her help really solidified his latch. She helped me understand what a good latch was. I was lucky to never get too sore or cracked. My engorgement was even tolerable, only lasting maybe an evening. My son was a slow nurser. He would nurse for about 45 minutes total, and would often fall asleep at the breast...so peaceful. Around 6 weeks postpartum, I decided to go on a birth control pill. Within days of doing this, I began to lose my milk. I was frantic about this and stopped the birth control and have not gone back on it since (for many more reasons). Luckily, I regained my milk supply and nursed my first until he was 15 1/2 months old, only weaning because I was pregnant and the pregnancy hormones made me extremely sore. I wanted to continue nursing so badly, but I couldn't push through it, so reluctantly, we weaned. The hardest part of nursing my first came when he was about 8 or 9 months old. I became really cracked and sore, due to his teething. I spoke with a WIC lactation consultant, who advised me to get some Soothie gel pads (a friend also recommended these) and within a couple of days, I felt better! I had tried Lanolin, but that wasn't doing anything. Once we got past that, I realized...this is why women quit. It was horrible! I am so glad I persisted and made it through that time because we were able to spend over a year nursing and it was a beautiful relationship.

My second baby's breastfeeding story started out very much like my first. She was born at home without medication, but was also not extremely interested in nursing right away, though I tried. I think she finally decided to nurse about an hour or two after she was born and she latched right on! Then, she nursed for over an hour! She has been much different in the way she nurses, however. I don't know if it is my approach to breastfeeding this time around, using it for comfort and food, or if it is her personality, but she loves to nurse for comfort and often. I try to let her nurse whenever she wants. When my milk came in, I was engorged beyond belief. It was incredibly painful. I had so much milk that when I pumped, I got 4 ounces in about one minute...from one side. My engorgement lasted about a week and was honestly, very, very painful. I could hardly move. I'd sit in the bathtub and try to release the pressure, sleep with bags of peas covering my chest and my arms resting on pillows to support my gigantic chest. I couldn't get enough of nursing at that stage. I think I nursed every few minutes because I needed that release...and yet, I seemed to never be empty! While I was so engorged, one of my breasts got a clogged milk duct. It was extremely painful...extremely. I am glad it did not turn into mastitis. It cleared up after a few days of using heat packs, massage, and feeding in different positions (laying on top of the baby, supporting myself with my arms, seemed to help release that particular duct very well). It came back in the same location a few weeks later, but luckily cleared up shortly after. Eventually, my milk supply did regulate which was a welcome change. At the beginning, when my milk would let down, my little baby would choke and cough because it was so powerful. Luckily, she would latch right back on and continue eating. She only had to nurse for about 5 minutes on one side at the beginning, due to my over abundance of milk. Little by little, as my supply regulated, she nursed longer on one side and then eventually nursed (and continues to nurse) on both sides. I have so enjoyed nursing this baby and hope to continue nursing for as long as she needs.

I think one of the most beautiful things about nursing is looking down and realizing that I am their nourishment. I am their comforter, their pacifier. I am the one who carried them, grew them, helped to create them and birth them. And now, I am the one helping them to grow outside the womb. Helping them to learn to trust and to love. It is a role I take very seriously and a responsibility I cherish greatly.

I really enjoyed hearing everyone's experiences. I am so impressed by the desire you had to breastfeed and that you persisted, despite the challenges you faced. It is my hope that we can all be examples to the women around us. That we can show them that breastfeeding is beautiful, it is normal, it is the best for our babies. But we can also help them to understand that it isn't always easy, it can be painful, and that it doesn't always feel natural in the beginning. There may be hurdles to jump, but if you can persist, it will give your baby so much more than just optimal nourishment...it will give you both a beautiful relationship, a special bond of trust, and a satisfaction in knowing that there is nobody or nothing else in this world that is helping your baby grow...it is all you! What a privilege and honor, we as women, have!

What's your story?

A reader of mine shared this on her blog and was kind enough to let me share it on here. I should have shared it awhile ago, but you know how life is. It gets busy.

These are her words:

The past few days has brought some attention to a particular interview with new mother, known for her modelling career. (She also has a shoe range, used to date Leo Di Caprio and her name rhymes withFisele Fundchen)

You can find the article on the net but one part I read was she only breastfed for 3 weeks and thought she perhaps could have pursued it a bit longer. Hmm... well, why didn't you?

Anyway, these are my personal thoughts and experiences with breastfeeding. I have been wanting to share them and now seems like the perfect time.

My own mother did not breastfeed me. She tried for two weeks and had issues so switched to the bottle. My younger sibling was bottle fed from the start.
My maternal grandmother did not breastfeed her five children.
I don't recall anyone in my extended family or acquaintances breastfeeding or talking about it openly.
I was told that my aunty breastfed her three children, so I went to her for help two weeks after I had started breastfeeding my first child. 
I had a very painful experience... I almost quit on several occasions.

During my pregnancy I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I made that decision because I believe it is the best thing for my children. I was under the assumption that it was a natural, beautiful thing to do.... I don't recall anyone mentioning anything about pain or learning how to breastfeed... I thought it just happened. 

I mean c'mon, all you hear about is how painful labour and childbirth is.... geez, that is nothing compared to learning how to breastfeed! At least you know the labour will end.... this breastfeeding thing can be painful for weeks!

From the start I had no idea what I was doing. Yes that was my fault for not learning. She attached incorrectly, gave me blister upon blister and I cried and curled my toes up in pain. The thought of feeding her made me cringe. I would count down the minutes to the next feed.... in fear of more pain.

The midwives in the hospital all tried to help and offer assistance but it didn't change a thing. 
Pumping was worse. The part that really hurt was the thought of failing. 
I wanted to break the cycle and actually breastfeed my daughter. It was hard not being able to go to my own mother and ask for help when I needed her. It made me sad to know that my grandmother didn't breastfeed her daughter either. I set my mind to do this and I wanted to succeed. 

It took about 2 - 3 weeks before the pain subsided and I could start to enjoy my newborn and stop feeling the pain. I am glad I pushed through it and was able to nurse her for ten months. 

Those moments were amazing. 

Now with my second daughter, I made sure I reviewed and re-learnt how to breastfeed again before she was born. This time I prayed not only for a healthy baby and a safe delivery, but for a good breastfeeding experience. From the first feed, she latched on correctly and although initially painful, I knew it was nothing compared to the first time round.

A few days ago as I was feeding, I looked down at my 5 month old and realised that all of her little life was due to me. I have been the only one keeping her alive, healthy and growing every day. It was such a satisfying moment. I felt amazing!

I want to be a positive role model for my daughters.

My two year old came to me today asking "milkies?" 
She had her toy Ducky with her. 
I thought she was referring to her sister who had just finished a feed. 

She stood holding Ducky and lifted up her top. Ducky was given a 'feed.' Then burped.

I was the proudest mother. 

We learn by watching others. 

I'm glad my daughters are watching me and learning.


I thought this was a beautiful, real experience of breastfeeding. It made me stop and examine my own "Breastfeeding Story." I'm going to post mine in a few days. Until then, I thought I'd ask...what's YOUR story? Was it easy for you to breastfeed? Was it challenging? If you stuck with it, how did you make it through? How has breastfeeding changed your life? What motivated you to breastfeed your baby?

World Breastfeeding Week

It's world breastfeeding week!

Give your baby the best.

"A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of
its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her
presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three."

- Grantly Dick-Read

Here is a fact about formula...I just learned this and was astonished.

There is an obesity epidemic in 6 month olds. Why? What is causing this?

Sugar. Plain and simple.

Watch this lecture given by Endocrinologist Dr. Lustig. It will change your life. It's an hour and a half but so worth your time. Schedule a date night with your husband and watch it!

Babies drinking formula are essentially getting a "baby milkshake" as Dr. Lustig puts it. Formula is 43.2% corn syrup solids and 10.3% sugar (fructose).

Don't get me wrong...I am not against formula in the case that a mother cannot truly breastfeed, but I am against formula being used when a mother can breastfeed (ie, just to "supplement" or because you want to get away for a day). A mother should make every effort to breastfeed, although it may be hard, painful, tiring, etc. The only way to do this is to offer support and to educate and empower women, so they know that their bodies are capable. There is a small percentage of women who may not breastfeed due to medical reasons or a truly low milk supply, but the majority of women, with proper education and support, can successfully breastfeed. Of course, the longer a baby is breastfed, the better, but a minimum of 6 months is essential. Now that I know this, I would say breastfeeding for a year is essential so as to avoid the sugar content of formula. I suppose you might wonder...so what? Is sugar that bad? Well, watch the lecture and then you'll understand why it is so bad. Sugar and alcohol are metabolized in the liver exactly the same way. It is extremely bad for your body. It is a toxin, a poison. Yes, really, it is. After learning about the sugar content of formula, I am even more dedicated to helping women succeed in breastfeeding their babies. 

Here are a couple of really wonderful links with information about milk supply. I had so many questions answered, even though I am nursing my second child. Take a look at them!

Is your milk supply really low?

Do babies under 12 months self-wean?