I have received a few emails lately asking me about the journey that my husband and I took as we made the decision to have an out of hospital birth. I figure that there are probably more women wondering about this very subject, so I decided to write about it on this blog for the benefit of any who are in a position of thinking about having an out of hospital birth.
First, I must say, that this decision is going to be different for everyone. Relationships vary greatly, so the journey my husband and I took may look completely different from your individual journey. The most important thing to remember is that education and knowledge are keys to empowerment and good decision-making. Faith and prayer also go a long way with helping to ease fear and find peace.
When I brought up the idea of having a home birth to my husband, the first thing he said was "Why? What's wrong with just having the baby in the hospital?" I had to think about my answer for awhile and simply told him "Please let me just share the things I've learned with you and after that, tell me how you feel." Over a few weeks of discussion, he gradually realized that a lot of times the complications that happen in hospitals are due to interventions that do not happen at home or in a birth center. He learned that home or birth center births are statistically just as safe, if not safer for mother and baby, than hospital births. He learned that there is a "business of birth" and a lot of money is involved. There's a lot of fear of litigation and malpractice. There are time tables. He realized that birth was a natural process. After learning these things, we discussed birth - a lot. Was a home birth right for us? We prayed, we studied, we read, we learned. I knew, in my heart, that home birth was right, but I had to dispel a lot of fears. I had to deal with negativity from family members and close friends. I had to take a leap of faith and trust the feelings I was having that were driving me towards having an out of hospital birth. My husband had to do the same. Ultimately, he told me that he supported me in whatever I wanted to do. I told him that I needed him behind me 100% on having a home birth, or I would not do it. I needed him behind me. We met with the midwife I was considering using and after our meeting with her, we both felt very excited and better about having a home birth. Meeting with the midwife helped to ease fears we had as we asked questions and found answers. After that meeting, he told me that he supported me 100% and although we both had occasional fears, we had both felt peaceful and excited about the decision. We didn't tell people about our decision to have a home birth until after the fact because we are both very sensitive people and don't handle confrontation or negativity very well. We relied on each other and on the confirmations we had received through prayer to continue on with our decision.
There will be critics from any side. If you birth in a hospital, you will have a critic somewhere. If you birth at home, there will be a critic. If you go to a birth center, I'm sure you'll find a critic. Ultimately, I've learned, you must find some way to push those critics aside and find your own self. You have to be true to yourself, no matter what area it is in. Even if those critics or negative voices are yourself (aren't we ever so hard on ourselves? I know I am.) you must find a way to silence them and move forward. That doesn't mean ignoring gut feelings - you must always follow your instinct, your guide, The Spirit (if you are religious). For me, in every area of my life, my biggest fault is not getting over what the critics might say. It was a big one for me in my home birth decision, but ultimately, I had to do what I knew was right for me and disregard those negative voices.
My advice for husbands and an out of hospital birth decision is simple. Talk to him, educate him, tell him your feelings. Tell him how strongly you feel about things and help him to see things from your angle. Then, listen to him. Listen to how he feels. Listen to his concerns. Pray together and study together. Read about birth together. How do you feel at the end of the day? Do you feel happy about things? Excited? Then your out of hospital birth decision is probably right. At the end of the day, do you feel scared or that something's not right? Then it's probably wrong for you. Go with your gut. Branch out - learn new things, try to embrace new concepts (like the fact that hospitals are not the only safe place to give birth) - and then make your decision. Keep an open mind and ask your husband to keep his mind open as well. In the end, I know you'll be able to make the best decision for your personal situation and I hope, whatever decision that is, that you've got your husband 100% behind you.
*I have to say that now, after having had a home birth, my husband actually advocates for natural child birth as well as home birth :) He's been known to talk birth to a few friends and classmates and that has made me very giddy to hear!
Here's a post on the preparation and decision making for home birth.
Here's another post about home births and dads.
And, one more here.
Showing posts with label empowerment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empowerment. Show all posts
Saturday, January 15, 2011
VBAC link
I've got a friend who is pregnant with her second child and fighting her way towards a VBAC after an unnecessary c-section the first time around. She wrote a great post with some links to information about VBACs that I wanted to share, as I know I have a few readers who are wanting VBACs in the future.
See the post here on Operation Housewife.
See the post here on Operation Housewife.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
What are you interested in?
So, part of my goal for this blog is to be a sort of "entry-level" blog into natural birth. Once you dive into researching birth, it is amazing the complexity that you'll find. But, I don't necessarily want to dive into complex areas of pregnancy and birth...after all, I'm not a birth professional (yet) so I technically don't have all of the scientific knowledge, etc. I mostly want to educate women on the choices they have. We have a choice in everything we do...everything!
Doctors and midwives have so much knowledge, thankfully, but ultimately, our care rests in our hands. It is so important to be educated and to work with your care provider so that you attain the best care possible. Many care providers are very busy and unfortunately, that may mean that you are not always in their best interest. That doesn't mean they don't care about you, or that you aren't important to them, but it may mean that often times, things are done simply as a routine. This is where choices come in. Research things and educate yourself so that you know when you have a choice about something and when you don't. For example, you might discuss IV placement (if birthing in a hospital) with your doctor or midwife. IV's are not medically necessary for birth, but they are routine. If you do not wish to have an IV, you do not have to have one (based on the discussion with your doctor). Obviously, if you are planning to have an epidural or other pain medication, you will need that IV. If you are desiring a natural, intervention free birth, you don't need that IV. Many doctors say you need at least a Hep Lock, in case of an emergency situation, but to that I say: if there is an emergency situation, I think you could put an IV in my arm fast enough that everything would be just fine (after all, if an EMT can place an IV in someone injured in a car wreck in the dark, one will most likely be able to be placed in me in a brightly lit room). That is one area where you do have a choice. Again, you research it, you weigh the pros and cons, and then you make a choice. If you feel more comfortable having an IV in your arm, by all means, have that IV. If you feel it would interfere with your ability to cope with the intensity of a natural birth, then decline the IV placement. Doctors and midwives vary on this practice. My second OB (before I switched to a home birth midwife) told me that I did not have to have an IV, but that she would prefer that I have a Hep Lock. When I told her I'd rather not have either, she was supportive of that. She is a great doctor who is understanding of how natural birth differs from medicalized births, so for me, she was a great choice as a care provider. The most important thing to remember is that you do have a choice in care providers, so if you are not happy with the way your doctor or midwife handles things or if you do not agree with the way they view birth, then you are free to make the choice to switch. You are the one paying them, so you are free to find someone who is a good fit for you. If you are not satisfied with their care, by all means, switch! It is your health, your birth, and you need to be with someone who will work with you, support you, and include you as part of your care. Informed consent...means you are educated, you work with your care provider to make decisions, and you make choices based on the information you have been given and learned.
So my question is, what things are you interested in learning about on this blog? What things would you like to know more about? Is there any particular aspect of pregnancy and/or birth that you would like to broaden your knowledge on?
Doctors and midwives have so much knowledge, thankfully, but ultimately, our care rests in our hands. It is so important to be educated and to work with your care provider so that you attain the best care possible. Many care providers are very busy and unfortunately, that may mean that you are not always in their best interest. That doesn't mean they don't care about you, or that you aren't important to them, but it may mean that often times, things are done simply as a routine. This is where choices come in. Research things and educate yourself so that you know when you have a choice about something and when you don't. For example, you might discuss IV placement (if birthing in a hospital) with your doctor or midwife. IV's are not medically necessary for birth, but they are routine. If you do not wish to have an IV, you do not have to have one (based on the discussion with your doctor). Obviously, if you are planning to have an epidural or other pain medication, you will need that IV. If you are desiring a natural, intervention free birth, you don't need that IV. Many doctors say you need at least a Hep Lock, in case of an emergency situation, but to that I say: if there is an emergency situation, I think you could put an IV in my arm fast enough that everything would be just fine (after all, if an EMT can place an IV in someone injured in a car wreck in the dark, one will most likely be able to be placed in me in a brightly lit room). That is one area where you do have a choice. Again, you research it, you weigh the pros and cons, and then you make a choice. If you feel more comfortable having an IV in your arm, by all means, have that IV. If you feel it would interfere with your ability to cope with the intensity of a natural birth, then decline the IV placement. Doctors and midwives vary on this practice. My second OB (before I switched to a home birth midwife) told me that I did not have to have an IV, but that she would prefer that I have a Hep Lock. When I told her I'd rather not have either, she was supportive of that. She is a great doctor who is understanding of how natural birth differs from medicalized births, so for me, she was a great choice as a care provider. The most important thing to remember is that you do have a choice in care providers, so if you are not happy with the way your doctor or midwife handles things or if you do not agree with the way they view birth, then you are free to make the choice to switch. You are the one paying them, so you are free to find someone who is a good fit for you. If you are not satisfied with their care, by all means, switch! It is your health, your birth, and you need to be with someone who will work with you, support you, and include you as part of your care. Informed consent...means you are educated, you work with your care provider to make decisions, and you make choices based on the information you have been given and learned.
So my question is, what things are you interested in learning about on this blog? What things would you like to know more about? Is there any particular aspect of pregnancy and/or birth that you would like to broaden your knowledge on?
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Inspiration
So last night, I attended the Queen Creek Birth Circle for the first time. I've been meaning to go since my daughter was born, but each month I either forgot or had other commitments. I had such a wonderful time being in a group where we all had the same interests and thoughts about childbirth. Many of us had babies the same age and nursed them freely, some covered, some not. It was so wonderful to be in that setting and have no qualms about nursing. Sometimes, depending on the place or the people that are around, nursing can be embarrassing or it can be uncomfortable because the other people seem to feel uncomfortable. But, last night, it wasn't like that at all and I really appreciated it. It was just really refreshing. I talked to two women who are currently doulas and it reminded me how much I want to become a doula, so I am even more committed to finding a way to do that.
The reason I wanted to post though was because of some inspiration I found last night at the birth circle. The topic was Birth Stories. There was a woman there who was 1 week post emergency c-section and she told her story. It was so full of raw emotion, as her feelings are obviously so new and she is still processing the whole thing. What happened was that at 38 weeks (I think) her baby was discovered to be breech. She was going to the doctor who I originally started with before planning my home birth with a midwife (her doctor is a great OB who is very, very supportive of birth as a natural process and not a medical event). They tried everything for two weeks to turn the baby: acupuncture, swimming, crazy positions, etc. The mother even drove 56 miles one way to see a chiropractor who was especially good at turning babies. At her last appointment, the baby had not moved an inch. He didn't budge! It was so heartbreaking for this mother. They decided to do an external version in the hospital, realizing that it could very well turn into a c-section if the baby did not respond well. She said the version was the most painful thing she's ever been through and would never do it again. During the procedure, the baby's heart rate dropped to 60 and was very unstable. The doctor said "You are having a baby today!" and preparations were made for the c-section. It was an emergency and she said several doctors and nurses were coming in, because they couldn't find a heartbeat and when they did find it, it was very low and unstable. When the baby was born, the umbilical cord was only 6 inches long. The baby was a slow starter, but is healthy and doing well now.
It is such an amazing thing to realize that this baby knew exactly how he needed to be born. There would have been great difficulties if this baby would have been born vaginally and who knows what the outcome would have been. It is a testament to me of trusting our bodies and being open to what may happen. We may have plans for our birth, and those plans are very important, but ultimately we also have to know that everything that happens in this life has a purpose and there's reason for it. This mother, although extremely sad and still traumatized from the birth, realizes what a tremendous blessing it was for her baby to be breech. It is a reminder to me that no matter what my birth plans may be for future babies, that I need to listen to my inner spirit and trust in the process of giving birth, even when that process is not what I have in mind. I left feeling very inspired and grateful for the lesson I learned!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Melissa's Natural VBAC
Melissa shared her natural VBAC story with me and I am so excited to share it with you. It is powerful and inspiring. Thanks Melissa!
----------
First, here are a few thoughts on having a VBAC:
You can go natural and still have an IV and even internal fetal monitoring. I had a mental list of the things I did and did not want... that didn't happen and I felt like the choice wasn't mine. I did have an IV and internal monitoring because my Nurse Midwife said it was necessary. I still wish I didn't have to have the internal monitor, but I am so grateful for the IV that I "didn't want". It provided the liquids I needed. I had been sick to my stomach (everything coming out both ends, eeewww) all day, so I hadn't eaten since the night before! After 22 hours of labor and not eating for over 24 hours I need that IV.
Don't under estimate the power of positive thinking. I worked diligently on my Hypnobabies program and during labor I didn't even turn on the CD. I just listened to the Positive Affirmations CD. Over and over again I listened to someone tell me that birth was wonderful, natural, and that I could do it. I loved it! The days and weeks before my birth I would read positive birth experiences and talked to woman who believed in me. If I had a moment of self doubt, I would call the people that supported me and believed in me, just so that they could give me a pep talk.
You'll never do anything more rewarding. Natural birth has given me a confidence in my self and in my body that I didn't know I could have.
Lastly, birth is powerful and spiritual if you'll let it be. I prayed from the day that I found out I was pregnant that I could have a natural birth. I hated my c-section. It was miserable and a second would limit the number of babies I could have. I want to choose that... I chose a natural birth because I felt an epidural would put me one step closer to a c-section. My natural birth was a blessing because of prayer and preparation. I feel like it is something the Lord intends and wants us to experience and I know that great power and holy helpers attend every birth.
My birth story:
I was due today! October 25th was the big day and I already have a 2 week old! I thought it was an appropriate day to share the story of Henry's birth.
I woke up at 2:30am on Saturday, October 10th with contractions! I figured it was false labor, but it was exciting to have contractions that were coming and going... around 5am I woke up Thomas and asked him to time a few to see how we were doing. Contractions were coming 7-10 mins apart and were about 30 seconds long. I was also leaking amniotic fluid every time I stood up or moved... a slow leak if you will.
Thomas went to play basketball that morning and came home around 10 am and I was still timing my contractions - still 7-8 mins apart.
Thomas' work planned a fall party at HeeHaw farms and pumpkin patch that I really wanted to go to! So I took a shower and we got ready to go. I thought it would be a good distraction and either my false labor would go away or we would know it was the real deal. At this point the contractions were still not super close together but I still needed to stop and take a moment when they came. I was also throwing up and feeling sick to my stomach. Why we went to the work party I am still not sure... all I know is I really wanted to go and so we did. Macey had a great time! We picked out a pumpkin, petted sheep, had a nice lunch (which I didn't dare eat...). By this time contractions were about 45 seconds long and 5-7 mins apart. On the way home from the party I called my sister Sarah to tell her I thought we would go to the hospital sometime soon, so keep her busy schedule open.
We went home, put Macey down for a nap. By this time I couldn't walk or talk during contractions but they still weren't super close together, so I got into my zone. I've been doing a "Hypnobabies" home study course for the last 4 months or so. It sounds odd but I really liked it. It is just very positive deep relaxation and visualization techniques that I practiced almost daily for most of the summer. So I got out the "positive affirmations" cd and just listened to it and focused on relaxing through my contractions instead of just dealing with them. This helped a ton! Macey woke up, Sarah came and got her, I still wasn't ready for the hospital - I wanted to labor at home for a long time. Sarah brought Macey home around 7:30pm and we got her ready for bed.
We left for American Fork Hospital at 8:30pm - contractions were finally 3-5 mins apart and had been for over 2 hours! That was when were told was the appropriate time to go to the hospital. So 18 hours into labor we go to the hospital. They check me when we first get there and I am 4.5 cm dialated and my water has broke, no going home for me (every mom's fear when going to the hospital... being too early)!
So we get to the room where you labor and get all set up. I get back in my zone with my cd going. I have to have an IV and continuous fetal monitoring because of the the C-section I had with Macey. VBAC's or "vaginal birth after cesarean" have higher risks than normal vaginal births so extra precautions have to be used. I didn't really want anything extra but I didn't have a choice... the IV we used a lot though. By this time it had been over 24 hours since I had eaten anything or been able to keep much water down, so they started me on sugar water to help with my fatigue.
The external fetal monitoring wasn't working very well because I liked to move during contractions... rocking mostly, so after a while my midwife decided I needed internal monitoring. Let's just say "ouch" and "yuck". I'm sure it's not a huge deal if you have an epidural but I didn't... and it hurt! It is this huge probe that they put inside the womb to monitor the baby and they but an electrode on the baby's head. It wasn't super fun having it put in and I felt more restricted once it was all in place.
The next while is all super fuzzy to me. I took off my glasses so that I couldn't watch the clock and I had Thomas turn the lights in the room off. I labored on my own at this point. It was me and my contractions. I didn't want Thomas near me, I didn't want my midwife around... I had do it alone.
I had a midwife, but I was still under a doctor's supervision because of the VBAC, so sometime around 11pm the Dr. makes an appearance... not a good sign. He is only there in case we need him. He tells us that Henry's heart rate is "too steady" and that things need to change or I will have a c-section. He gave us a 15 minute window to see the baby's heart rate change. At this point I had done what I could to have a natural delivery and if the c-section was still going to happen I didn't feel like it was in my control anymore. I left it up to the Lord... he knew my heart's desires but he also knew what the baby needed more than I did. I was ok with whatever happened at this point.
This is where Thomas really stepped up to the plate. I was exhausted and just managing my pain, not in a position to think tons about other options. He was the key to my success at this point. He said that we needed to do something different, so why don't I try standing up. He also asked the midwife if we could change the IV fluids from just watery stuff to sugar water again to wake the baby up. This was key. I started laboring in different positions (on my sides, standing up...) and after 15 minutes of moving and sugar water the Dr. came in a said that the change was minimal but if it didn't go down again he would continue to let me labor!!! Thomas saved me from another c-section which would have been my second - which would have meant that all of my births after that would be c-setions - which limits the number of kids you can have! All things we wanted to avoid...
So at this point I am at an 8, I continue to labor until around 1:30am Sunday morning when I am finally at 10... I start pushing then. Pushing was a lot harder physically than I thought it would be, enough details on that! So after an hour of pushing they plop a sticky white thing on my tummy and I just stare at him. I didn't cry, I was just so glad that he was here, safe, and I was done. He didn't cry even then. Thomas cut the umbilical cord and we had a baby to call our own! I never felt so proud of an accomplishment in all of my life.
I loved the unmedicated birth! I know people think it is crazy, but they haven't tried it. It was an incredibly spiritual experience. The pain was a very natural pain that ebbed and flowed, it never got to a point where it was intense pain all the time... you have time to regroup during contractions even when pushing.
All in all, I would do it again in a heartbeat!
----------
First, here are a few thoughts on having a VBAC:
You can go natural and still have an IV and even internal fetal monitoring. I had a mental list of the things I did and did not want... that didn't happen and I felt like the choice wasn't mine. I did have an IV and internal monitoring because my Nurse Midwife said it was necessary. I still wish I didn't have to have the internal monitor, but I am so grateful for the IV that I "didn't want". It provided the liquids I needed. I had been sick to my stomach (everything coming out both ends, eeewww) all day, so I hadn't eaten since the night before! After 22 hours of labor and not eating for over 24 hours I need that IV.
Don't under estimate the power of positive thinking. I worked diligently on my Hypnobabies program and during labor I didn't even turn on the CD. I just listened to the Positive Affirmations CD. Over and over again I listened to someone tell me that birth was wonderful, natural, and that I could do it. I loved it! The days and weeks before my birth I would read positive birth experiences and talked to woman who believed in me. If I had a moment of self doubt, I would call the people that supported me and believed in me, just so that they could give me a pep talk.
You'll never do anything more rewarding. Natural birth has given me a confidence in my self and in my body that I didn't know I could have.
Lastly, birth is powerful and spiritual if you'll let it be. I prayed from the day that I found out I was pregnant that I could have a natural birth. I hated my c-section. It was miserable and a second would limit the number of babies I could have. I want to choose that... I chose a natural birth because I felt an epidural would put me one step closer to a c-section. My natural birth was a blessing because of prayer and preparation. I feel like it is something the Lord intends and wants us to experience and I know that great power and holy helpers attend every birth.
My birth story:
I was due today! October 25th was the big day and I already have a 2 week old! I thought it was an appropriate day to share the story of Henry's birth.
I woke up at 2:30am on Saturday, October 10th with contractions! I figured it was false labor, but it was exciting to have contractions that were coming and going... around 5am I woke up Thomas and asked him to time a few to see how we were doing. Contractions were coming 7-10 mins apart and were about 30 seconds long. I was also leaking amniotic fluid every time I stood up or moved... a slow leak if you will.
Thomas went to play basketball that morning and came home around 10 am and I was still timing my contractions - still 7-8 mins apart.
Thomas' work planned a fall party at HeeHaw farms and pumpkin patch that I really wanted to go to! So I took a shower and we got ready to go. I thought it would be a good distraction and either my false labor would go away or we would know it was the real deal. At this point the contractions were still not super close together but I still needed to stop and take a moment when they came. I was also throwing up and feeling sick to my stomach. Why we went to the work party I am still not sure... all I know is I really wanted to go and so we did. Macey had a great time! We picked out a pumpkin, petted sheep, had a nice lunch (which I didn't dare eat...). By this time contractions were about 45 seconds long and 5-7 mins apart. On the way home from the party I called my sister Sarah to tell her I thought we would go to the hospital sometime soon, so keep her busy schedule open.
We went home, put Macey down for a nap. By this time I couldn't walk or talk during contractions but they still weren't super close together, so I got into my zone. I've been doing a "Hypnobabies" home study course for the last 4 months or so. It sounds odd but I really liked it. It is just very positive deep relaxation and visualization techniques that I practiced almost daily for most of the summer. So I got out the "positive affirmations" cd and just listened to it and focused on relaxing through my contractions instead of just dealing with them. This helped a ton! Macey woke up, Sarah came and got her, I still wasn't ready for the hospital - I wanted to labor at home for a long time. Sarah brought Macey home around 7:30pm and we got her ready for bed.
We left for American Fork Hospital at 8:30pm - contractions were finally 3-5 mins apart and had been for over 2 hours! That was when were told was the appropriate time to go to the hospital. So 18 hours into labor we go to the hospital. They check me when we first get there and I am 4.5 cm dialated and my water has broke, no going home for me (every mom's fear when going to the hospital... being too early)!
So we get to the room where you labor and get all set up. I get back in my zone with my cd going. I have to have an IV and continuous fetal monitoring because of the the C-section I had with Macey. VBAC's or "vaginal birth after cesarean" have higher risks than normal vaginal births so extra precautions have to be used. I didn't really want anything extra but I didn't have a choice... the IV we used a lot though. By this time it had been over 24 hours since I had eaten anything or been able to keep much water down, so they started me on sugar water to help with my fatigue.
The external fetal monitoring wasn't working very well because I liked to move during contractions... rocking mostly, so after a while my midwife decided I needed internal monitoring. Let's just say "ouch" and "yuck". I'm sure it's not a huge deal if you have an epidural but I didn't... and it hurt! It is this huge probe that they put inside the womb to monitor the baby and they but an electrode on the baby's head. It wasn't super fun having it put in and I felt more restricted once it was all in place.
The next while is all super fuzzy to me. I took off my glasses so that I couldn't watch the clock and I had Thomas turn the lights in the room off. I labored on my own at this point. It was me and my contractions. I didn't want Thomas near me, I didn't want my midwife around... I had do it alone.
I had a midwife, but I was still under a doctor's supervision because of the VBAC, so sometime around 11pm the Dr. makes an appearance... not a good sign. He is only there in case we need him. He tells us that Henry's heart rate is "too steady" and that things need to change or I will have a c-section. He gave us a 15 minute window to see the baby's heart rate change. At this point I had done what I could to have a natural delivery and if the c-section was still going to happen I didn't feel like it was in my control anymore. I left it up to the Lord... he knew my heart's desires but he also knew what the baby needed more than I did. I was ok with whatever happened at this point.
This is where Thomas really stepped up to the plate. I was exhausted and just managing my pain, not in a position to think tons about other options. He was the key to my success at this point. He said that we needed to do something different, so why don't I try standing up. He also asked the midwife if we could change the IV fluids from just watery stuff to sugar water again to wake the baby up. This was key. I started laboring in different positions (on my sides, standing up...) and after 15 minutes of moving and sugar water the Dr. came in a said that the change was minimal but if it didn't go down again he would continue to let me labor!!! Thomas saved me from another c-section which would have been my second - which would have meant that all of my births after that would be c-setions - which limits the number of kids you can have! All things we wanted to avoid...
So at this point I am at an 8, I continue to labor until around 1:30am Sunday morning when I am finally at 10... I start pushing then. Pushing was a lot harder physically than I thought it would be, enough details on that! So after an hour of pushing they plop a sticky white thing on my tummy and I just stare at him. I didn't cry, I was just so glad that he was here, safe, and I was done. He didn't cry even then. Thomas cut the umbilical cord and we had a baby to call our own! I never felt so proud of an accomplishment in all of my life.
I loved the unmedicated birth! I know people think it is crazy, but they haven't tried it. It was an incredibly spiritual experience. The pain was a very natural pain that ebbed and flowed, it never got to a point where it was intense pain all the time... you have time to regroup during contractions even when pushing.
All in all, I would do it again in a heartbeat!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
The wonder of natural childbirth
Cjane posted this today on her blog:
3. Would you do another non-medicated birth? And if so, WHY???
Here is the deal about that whole deal.
Now that I look back on Ever's birth I see things a little more clearly.
The pain? Hmm. Yes it hurt. It was pounding and brutal. Then there was the part when I felt my body split in two . . .
But.
But it wasn't the physical pain that astounded me about that experience. For me, the pain? Meh. It was shortly lived and gone the second the baby left the (fleshy) building.
But.
The pain coupled with the metaphysical?
Holy.
It was the stretching of my spirit that really shook my core. The psychological impact that comes from going to a place where earth meets heaven and tiptoeing along that blurry line of life and death. It was the part where I felt the weight of something so huge, so much bigger and more fantastic than anything I could have ever imagined. It was closing my eyes and seeing a checkerboard sphere rolling around like I was viewing pure energy at a molecular level. It was completely psychedelic and strange and completely awe-some.
And when I think the physical feeling of my body splitting open I also think my spirit was doing the same. In that process, my spirit made more of me to be able to contain all of that experience. Like a hand inside a latex glove, I was filled with humanity, expanding, extending, magnifying. I was more. And I will never get over the residual memories--they still astound me.
Are you kidding me?
I can't wait to do it again.
I LOVED her description of natural childbirth. It is exactly how I feel about my experience. It was so completely overwhelming and intense, yet I honestly cannot wait to do it again. The feeling of being "more" than you thought you ever were was astounding. I, of course, cannot put it into such beautiful words, like Cjane does, but I completely echo her sentiments. It is something so incredible, something so much more rewarding than I can even explain.
3. Would you do another non-medicated birth? And if so, WHY???
Here is the deal about that whole deal.
Now that I look back on Ever's birth I see things a little more clearly.
The pain? Hmm. Yes it hurt. It was pounding and brutal. Then there was the part when I felt my body split in two . . .
But.
But it wasn't the physical pain that astounded me about that experience. For me, the pain? Meh. It was shortly lived and gone the second the baby left the (fleshy) building.
But.
The pain coupled with the metaphysical?
Holy.
It was the stretching of my spirit that really shook my core. The psychological impact that comes from going to a place where earth meets heaven and tiptoeing along that blurry line of life and death. It was the part where I felt the weight of something so huge, so much bigger and more fantastic than anything I could have ever imagined. It was closing my eyes and seeing a checkerboard sphere rolling around like I was viewing pure energy at a molecular level. It was completely psychedelic and strange and completely awe-some.
And when I think the physical feeling of my body splitting open I also think my spirit was doing the same. In that process, my spirit made more of me to be able to contain all of that experience. Like a hand inside a latex glove, I was filled with humanity, expanding, extending, magnifying. I was more. And I will never get over the residual memories--they still astound me.
Are you kidding me?
I can't wait to do it again.
I LOVED her description of natural childbirth. It is exactly how I feel about my experience. It was so completely overwhelming and intense, yet I honestly cannot wait to do it again. The feeling of being "more" than you thought you ever were was astounding. I, of course, cannot put it into such beautiful words, like Cjane does, but I completely echo her sentiments. It is something so incredible, something so much more rewarding than I can even explain.
Monday, June 14, 2010
How to have a natural birth in a hospital
I asked my friend, Rachel, who blogs at The Beginning of Motherhood, to share some thoughts about how to achieve a natural birth in a hospital setting. Rachel has a lot of experience with this, as she has had five children naturally and works as a nurse in Labor and Delivery. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful tips!
----------
I have seen all sorts of births and all sorts of birth plans. I have seen women do fabulous going natural on pitocin, laying in bed, and in all sorts of other situations. I have also seen some women who have been doing great soaking in a tub, but ask for an epidural. I have seen some who I would have thought regretted not getting an epidural, but when asked, said they appreciated the experience. Any way it happens, a natural birth(going without pain medication) is something that you need to have a reason for wanting. To me, that has been the key ingredient. Also, your desire may change further down the road through labor, and that's OK. So, I would say the first step in having a natural birth in the hospital, is to decide if you really want to and why. These are not questions that anyone can really give you an answer too, but yourself, but I'll attempt to start you on your path.
First off, you can do a natural birth. Women have been doing them forever. So the real question is do you want to. The main reason for getting an epidural is the obvious: pain relief. Labor is hard work, and can be very painful. But, pain tolerance is not really an indicator of whether or not you will want an epidural. What you need to decide is if your reason for wanting one is greater than your reason for not wanting one. A few case examples. Many women are afraid of the needle in an epidural, or the pain of the epidural itself. I have had one woman tell me that when her contractions are so intense that she no longer is afraid of the needle then she gets the epidural. She always gets them. Therefore, for her, the labor is worse than the epidural. On the other hand, another woman I took care of felt like her fear of the epidural was greater than her fear of labor. Therefore, she always went natural. Some other factors to think about when it comes to reasons for/against getting epidurals: 1)you ability to move is greatly reduced when you have an epidural. Once you have one you are in bed, with a tube to drain your urine, and the nurses have to help with movement of the legs. This may be OK with you, and may be worth it, but again, it's just something to think about. Many people are worried about drugs being introduced. From what I have researched, the drugs given in epidurals will not cross into your babies body, but it does effect immediate breastfeeding(though not long term). It does tend to slow down labor, and there is an increased use of forceps or vacuums with them. For those who are experiencing exhaustion or can not relax, though, it may be useful. These are just some of the factors involved, and I would suggest thoroughly researching them.
So onto how to work through a natural labor in the hospital.
Request a hep-lock(where the iv is in you, but not connected to any tubing), or no iv at all if you feel comfortable with that. If you are not receiving iv fluids, make sure you are eating and drinking. If your hospital only allows ice chips, eat as many ice chips as possible and add sugar:) I would even bring some Gatorade pre frozen just for you to suck on. As long as it's ice, it fits in the policy. Some research I have read suggests that a woman needs at least 125-250 ml of water and hour. That's 1L of fluids every 4-8 hours. If you have to have an iv, you are still capable of moving. Request that you have an iv pole for the fluids to hang on so that you can walk around with it. If you do have any fluids running in, keep in mind that you can also get too much. Especially if you are on pitocin as that tends to increase water retention. One bag of iv fluid equals a liter, so keep that in mind when gaging how much you are drinking. Make sure you are going to the bathroom often, at least every one or two hours. An empty bladder will facilitate labor. Sitting on the toilet is also a comfortable position:) An iv pole can actually be very useful to hold onto during contractions. When you are feeling weaker, but still want to stand, an iv pole makes a good brace to pull down on. It is also useful during pushing. If you are wanting to squat, the pole can be used to hold onto.
Request intermittent monitoring. Keep in mind that this may only be possible if the nurses aren't busy, and your babies heart rate is looking OK. Intermittent monitoring has been shown to be safe and effective in monitoring the heart beat of the baby. ACOG guidelines suggest listening to the babies heart beat every 15-30 m while in active labor. This also needs to be done during a contraction and immediately after. This allows the nurse to check the heart rate while you are in different positions or different places. If you have to be connected to the monitors, you can still sit up and move around. You can stand, squat and walk. The difficulty in this comes from making sure that the heart rate stays on the monitor. It is helpful to have someone hold it on tighter during contractions, while sitting up, or squatting. Anyone can do this, it doesn't have to be a nurse. If you notice that the babies heart rate isn't picking up at different times during your labor, try having someone hand hold it. While I normally, don't like internal monitors, for someone who is going natural and having to be on the monitor, they can be useful. With internal monitors, the babies heart rate is picked up much easier and movement is not restricted as much. This would be something that I personally would like at on a case by case basis, and only if the mothers bag of water is already broken.
Which leads me to the bag of water. I would suggest not getting it broken as a matter of policy. Research shows that it does tend to decrease labor time, but only by about 20m. Once your water is broken, contractions tend to be stronger and harder. If you want to shave off time in labor, I would suggest having your water broken during transition or after(around8-10cm). At this point, your labor is already pretty intense, and shaving off time at this point is usually very welcomed. This really is just my opinion. Also, once the water is broken, it allows for germs to be introduced. So often the water is just broken, without a thought as to the individuals preference. Just make sure you at least think about it.
The bed in the hospital can actually be very useful. There are a lot of different positions that it can help you obtain. If you want to kneel, you can kneel over the top, bring the bottom down and kneel on that, or just be on your hands and knees on something soft. During pushing, you can bring the head all the way up and the feet all the way down to simulate a squat or birthing chair. I would play around with it and see how you might find it the most useful. It is also useful to use to kneel on, or put a birthing ball on and lean on.
Water....this has been shown to be one of the most effective pain relief measures for those who are going natural. If you find yourself getting tired, afraid you can't go on, or just needing to try something different, try a hot bath. Some hospitals do not allow this. If this is the case, bring a heating pad that you can use to sit on on the birthing ball, use with counter pressure, or just relax muscles and tension.
If you need to have pitocin, don't sell your selves short and feel like it's impossible to have a natural birht. I have seen many women do fantastic with pitocin. Some key things to remember...you can do it. You have to have a reason for wanting to do it, but it's OK if you don't want to. Ask your provider if you can do low dose pitocin. This will add the pitocin more gradually. You can also request that your pitocin be turned off once you have reached active labor. At this point, your body will sometimes take over and you will no longer need pitocin.
For some it is useful to try not to think about the contractions in terms of pain, but just intensity. If you prefer this, make sure you ask your nurse not to ask you your what level your pain is at. But let her know whether or not it is getting more intense. This is an important indicator of how your labor is progressing and how well a woman is coping.
One last point, when you first arrive at the hospital there is a whole admittance procedure. If you are not in too much pain, it's not that big of a deal. But if you are having to work hard through contractions, appoint someone else to answer the questions that are needed.
----------
I have seen all sorts of births and all sorts of birth plans. I have seen women do fabulous going natural on pitocin, laying in bed, and in all sorts of other situations. I have also seen some women who have been doing great soaking in a tub, but ask for an epidural. I have seen some who I would have thought regretted not getting an epidural, but when asked, said they appreciated the experience. Any way it happens, a natural birth(going without pain medication) is something that you need to have a reason for wanting. To me, that has been the key ingredient. Also, your desire may change further down the road through labor, and that's OK. So, I would say the first step in having a natural birth in the hospital, is to decide if you really want to and why. These are not questions that anyone can really give you an answer too, but yourself, but I'll attempt to start you on your path.
First off, you can do a natural birth. Women have been doing them forever. So the real question is do you want to. The main reason for getting an epidural is the obvious: pain relief. Labor is hard work, and can be very painful. But, pain tolerance is not really an indicator of whether or not you will want an epidural. What you need to decide is if your reason for wanting one is greater than your reason for not wanting one. A few case examples. Many women are afraid of the needle in an epidural, or the pain of the epidural itself. I have had one woman tell me that when her contractions are so intense that she no longer is afraid of the needle then she gets the epidural. She always gets them. Therefore, for her, the labor is worse than the epidural. On the other hand, another woman I took care of felt like her fear of the epidural was greater than her fear of labor. Therefore, she always went natural. Some other factors to think about when it comes to reasons for/against getting epidurals: 1)you ability to move is greatly reduced when you have an epidural. Once you have one you are in bed, with a tube to drain your urine, and the nurses have to help with movement of the legs. This may be OK with you, and may be worth it, but again, it's just something to think about. Many people are worried about drugs being introduced. From what I have researched, the drugs given in epidurals will not cross into your babies body, but it does effect immediate breastfeeding(though not long term). It does tend to slow down labor, and there is an increased use of forceps or vacuums with them. For those who are experiencing exhaustion or can not relax, though, it may be useful. These are just some of the factors involved, and I would suggest thoroughly researching them.
So onto how to work through a natural labor in the hospital.
Request a hep-lock(where the iv is in you, but not connected to any tubing), or no iv at all if you feel comfortable with that. If you are not receiving iv fluids, make sure you are eating and drinking. If your hospital only allows ice chips, eat as many ice chips as possible and add sugar:) I would even bring some Gatorade pre frozen just for you to suck on. As long as it's ice, it fits in the policy. Some research I have read suggests that a woman needs at least 125-250 ml of water and hour. That's 1L of fluids every 4-8 hours. If you have to have an iv, you are still capable of moving. Request that you have an iv pole for the fluids to hang on so that you can walk around with it. If you do have any fluids running in, keep in mind that you can also get too much. Especially if you are on pitocin as that tends to increase water retention. One bag of iv fluid equals a liter, so keep that in mind when gaging how much you are drinking. Make sure you are going to the bathroom often, at least every one or two hours. An empty bladder will facilitate labor. Sitting on the toilet is also a comfortable position:) An iv pole can actually be very useful to hold onto during contractions. When you are feeling weaker, but still want to stand, an iv pole makes a good brace to pull down on. It is also useful during pushing. If you are wanting to squat, the pole can be used to hold onto.
Request intermittent monitoring. Keep in mind that this may only be possible if the nurses aren't busy, and your babies heart rate is looking OK. Intermittent monitoring has been shown to be safe and effective in monitoring the heart beat of the baby. ACOG guidelines suggest listening to the babies heart beat every 15-30 m while in active labor. This also needs to be done during a contraction and immediately after. This allows the nurse to check the heart rate while you are in different positions or different places. If you have to be connected to the monitors, you can still sit up and move around. You can stand, squat and walk. The difficulty in this comes from making sure that the heart rate stays on the monitor. It is helpful to have someone hold it on tighter during contractions, while sitting up, or squatting. Anyone can do this, it doesn't have to be a nurse. If you notice that the babies heart rate isn't picking up at different times during your labor, try having someone hand hold it. While I normally, don't like internal monitors, for someone who is going natural and having to be on the monitor, they can be useful. With internal monitors, the babies heart rate is picked up much easier and movement is not restricted as much. This would be something that I personally would like at on a case by case basis, and only if the mothers bag of water is already broken.
Which leads me to the bag of water. I would suggest not getting it broken as a matter of policy. Research shows that it does tend to decrease labor time, but only by about 20m. Once your water is broken, contractions tend to be stronger and harder. If you want to shave off time in labor, I would suggest having your water broken during transition or after(around8-10cm). At this point, your labor is already pretty intense, and shaving off time at this point is usually very welcomed. This really is just my opinion. Also, once the water is broken, it allows for germs to be introduced. So often the water is just broken, without a thought as to the individuals preference. Just make sure you at least think about it.
The bed in the hospital can actually be very useful. There are a lot of different positions that it can help you obtain. If you want to kneel, you can kneel over the top, bring the bottom down and kneel on that, or just be on your hands and knees on something soft. During pushing, you can bring the head all the way up and the feet all the way down to simulate a squat or birthing chair. I would play around with it and see how you might find it the most useful. It is also useful to use to kneel on, or put a birthing ball on and lean on.
Water....this has been shown to be one of the most effective pain relief measures for those who are going natural. If you find yourself getting tired, afraid you can't go on, or just needing to try something different, try a hot bath. Some hospitals do not allow this. If this is the case, bring a heating pad that you can use to sit on on the birthing ball, use with counter pressure, or just relax muscles and tension.
If you need to have pitocin, don't sell your selves short and feel like it's impossible to have a natural birht. I have seen many women do fantastic with pitocin. Some key things to remember...you can do it. You have to have a reason for wanting to do it, but it's OK if you don't want to. Ask your provider if you can do low dose pitocin. This will add the pitocin more gradually. You can also request that your pitocin be turned off once you have reached active labor. At this point, your body will sometimes take over and you will no longer need pitocin.
For some it is useful to try not to think about the contractions in terms of pain, but just intensity. If you prefer this, make sure you ask your nurse not to ask you your what level your pain is at. But let her know whether or not it is getting more intense. This is an important indicator of how your labor is progressing and how well a woman is coping.
One last point, when you first arrive at the hospital there is a whole admittance procedure. If you are not in too much pain, it's not that big of a deal. But if you are having to work hard through contractions, appoint someone else to answer the questions that are needed.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
healthy birth practices and spirituality
new data shows that there is a connection between childbirth and spirituality. you can see what i've said about spirituality here.
“'Childbirth and motherhood provide many women with an ideal context in which to recognize the spiritual aspect of their lives,” said Lynn Clark Callister, R.N., Ph.D., FAAN, a professor of nursing at the Brigham Young University College of Nursing and study co-author. “Our research illustrates that for most women, childbirth is a deeply spiritual experience. As healthcare providers, we need to recognize and support this evidence, and listen to women’s voices to guide their care.'”
The themes that emerged in the study included: childbirth as a time to grow closer to God, the use of religious beliefs and rituals as powerful coping mechanisms, childbirth as a time to make religiosity more meaningful, the significance of a Higher Power in influencing birth outcomes and childbirth as a spiritually transforming experience."
read the summary here.
at the end of the article, it lists Lamaze International's "Six Healthy Birth Practices" so i wanted to list them here. i truly believe that following these six practices will almost always lead to a wonderful outcome for mother and baby.
1. let labor begin on its own
2. walk, move around, and change positions during labor
3. bring a loved one, friend, or doula for continuous support
4. avoid interventions that are not medically necessary
5. avoid giving birth on your back and follow your body's urges to push
6. keep mother and baby together; it's best for mother, baby, and breastfeeding
Sunday, March 7, 2010
busca's thoughts on natural childbirth
i am so excited to have a guest post on this blog by "busca," author of the blog birth faith. it is one of my favorite birth blogs - she has so much great information and insight on her blog...it's been a great resource for me as i have delved into the realm of natural childbirth.
i asked busca to share some of her thoughts on natural childbirth, so without further ado...here they are:
----------
Why I Chose Natural Childbirth
First, I did not choose to give birth without drugs because
* I wanted people to call me their "hero."
* I wanted to prove something.
* I wanted a reason to feel superior to other women.
In fact, I don't know a single woman who chose natural childbirth for the reasons listed above. All of the women I know who have actively pursued a drug-less birth have done so because they recognize the many benefits. It may be controversial to say it, but I really do believe that the best way for most babies to be brought into this world--and for new mothers to be born--is through natural childbirth. I know that the birth process was designed as it was for our benefit.
When I was a newlywed, I didn't even know people still had babies without drugs. The only experience I had with anything like that was the "crazy lady" who lived behind my grandma's house who had her babies at home. I didn't become interested in drug-free birthing until an acquaintance told me she was planning a natural childbirth and mentioned that there were benefits to avoiding drugs. It was the benefits that piqued my interest. After much research and pondering, I went on to have two unmedicated hospital births followed by a home birth (like that "crazy lady"!) last April.
So I'd like to list some of the benefits I have experienced through my attempts to give birth as God and nature intended.
Choosing to give birth without drugs makes sense because...
* It reduces risks to both mother and baby. All of the drugs available for pain relief have very real (sometimes severe, sometimes long-term) side effects. Often one intervention leads to many (and more invasive) interventions. I know several women who traded the temporary pain of childbirth for long-term daily back pain after their epidurals.
* It enables a woman to be more aware of her instincts and urges. Pain in childbirth serves a physiological purpose. When a woman feels her labor, she can allow it to prompt her movements and changes of position. Women who can be mobile in labor will almost always move their bodies and adopt positions that will facilitate and speed-up the birth process.
* It facilitates the release of hormones which prime mother and baby for smoother delivery, bonding, and breastfeeding.
* It instills confidence and self-worth in a woman. Women who have given birth without drugs often describe the experience as life-changing. I believe God knew that new mothers would benefit from the trial of labor because it would allow them to see the strength and power within them. What better way to begin motherhood than on a springboard of power and strength?
Now I realize that this last reason may appear similar to "proving something to the world." But I believe there is a clear distinction between 1) Choosing to take a difficult path because you believe it will be beneficial to you and teach you important things about yourself AND 2) Choosing to inflict pain on yourself for future bragging rights.
I chose to accept the birth process and the possibility of intense pain because I knew it was best for me and my babies. But I think it's impossible to come out the other end of natural childbirth without feeling the euphoria of achieving something beautiful. Childbirth is one of the most physically and emotionally difficult challenges many women face. How could a woman not feel enormously fulfilled and proud of herself for her labor of love and endurance?
I do hold my children's births in my heart as some of my greatest accomplishments. Does that make me prideful, macho (but in a female way), or full of myself? I don't think so. Just like I don't fault my husband for the joy he feels in completing a marathon or anyone who tackles something difficult and feels gratified upon overcoming it. Aren't those kinds of achievements the makings of our heroes? Is it not in our witnessing of human strength and endurance that we find our own desire to reach higher and push further and grow stronger?
I didn't pursue natural childbirth so people would call me their hero. But people have. I feel honored that my experiences have inspired other people because I believe wholeheartedly that the same strength I drew upon to birth my children lies within all of us. We are all strong. We are all heroes-in-the-making. We all have opportunities to discover our strength. Childbirth just happens to be where I discovered mine.
----------
i echo busca's thoughts, in that childbirth was also an opportunity for me to draw upon the inner strength that i did not fully realize i had. some find that strength in running or accomplishing something very difficult, and i found that strength through birthing naturally, which has transformed me and made me a better, stronger, more confident person.
thank you so much for sharing busca!
i asked busca to share some of her thoughts on natural childbirth, so without further ado...here they are:
----------
Why I Chose Natural Childbirth
First, I did not choose to give birth without drugs because
* I wanted people to call me their "hero."
* I wanted to prove something.
* I wanted a reason to feel superior to other women.
In fact, I don't know a single woman who chose natural childbirth for the reasons listed above. All of the women I know who have actively pursued a drug-less birth have done so because they recognize the many benefits. It may be controversial to say it, but I really do believe that the best way for most babies to be brought into this world--and for new mothers to be born--is through natural childbirth. I know that the birth process was designed as it was for our benefit.
When I was a newlywed, I didn't even know people still had babies without drugs. The only experience I had with anything like that was the "crazy lady" who lived behind my grandma's house who had her babies at home. I didn't become interested in drug-free birthing until an acquaintance told me she was planning a natural childbirth and mentioned that there were benefits to avoiding drugs. It was the benefits that piqued my interest. After much research and pondering, I went on to have two unmedicated hospital births followed by a home birth (like that "crazy lady"!) last April.
So I'd like to list some of the benefits I have experienced through my attempts to give birth as God and nature intended.
Choosing to give birth without drugs makes sense because...
* It reduces risks to both mother and baby. All of the drugs available for pain relief have very real (sometimes severe, sometimes long-term) side effects. Often one intervention leads to many (and more invasive) interventions. I know several women who traded the temporary pain of childbirth for long-term daily back pain after their epidurals.
* It enables a woman to be more aware of her instincts and urges. Pain in childbirth serves a physiological purpose. When a woman feels her labor, she can allow it to prompt her movements and changes of position. Women who can be mobile in labor will almost always move their bodies and adopt positions that will facilitate and speed-up the birth process.
* It facilitates the release of hormones which prime mother and baby for smoother delivery, bonding, and breastfeeding.
* It instills confidence and self-worth in a woman. Women who have given birth without drugs often describe the experience as life-changing. I believe God knew that new mothers would benefit from the trial of labor because it would allow them to see the strength and power within them. What better way to begin motherhood than on a springboard of power and strength?
Now I realize that this last reason may appear similar to "proving something to the world." But I believe there is a clear distinction between 1) Choosing to take a difficult path because you believe it will be beneficial to you and teach you important things about yourself AND 2) Choosing to inflict pain on yourself for future bragging rights.
I chose to accept the birth process and the possibility of intense pain because I knew it was best for me and my babies. But I think it's impossible to come out the other end of natural childbirth without feeling the euphoria of achieving something beautiful. Childbirth is one of the most physically and emotionally difficult challenges many women face. How could a woman not feel enormously fulfilled and proud of herself for her labor of love and endurance?
I do hold my children's births in my heart as some of my greatest accomplishments. Does that make me prideful, macho (but in a female way), or full of myself? I don't think so. Just like I don't fault my husband for the joy he feels in completing a marathon or anyone who tackles something difficult and feels gratified upon overcoming it. Aren't those kinds of achievements the makings of our heroes? Is it not in our witnessing of human strength and endurance that we find our own desire to reach higher and push further and grow stronger?
I didn't pursue natural childbirth so people would call me their hero. But people have. I feel honored that my experiences have inspired other people because I believe wholeheartedly that the same strength I drew upon to birth my children lies within all of us. We are all strong. We are all heroes-in-the-making. We all have opportunities to discover our strength. Childbirth just happens to be where I discovered mine.
----------
i echo busca's thoughts, in that childbirth was also an opportunity for me to draw upon the inner strength that i did not fully realize i had. some find that strength in running or accomplishing something very difficult, and i found that strength through birthing naturally, which has transformed me and made me a better, stronger, more confident person.
thank you so much for sharing busca!
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